Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard.
Despite being close to the show.
When she got there
The cupboard should have been bare
Since she has trouble with “NO”.
Here’s a recap of the competition from yesterday.
The competition was an hour away from my house (w/o traffic) in Hollywood so I had decided I’d drive down in the morning which meant I got a good nights sleep in my own bed. I got up at 6 am put on another coat of tan because I looked more like child who had been playing in the mud under a sprinkler than a “glamourous” figure competitor. After the tan I put on my face and Brent took a few pictures before I headed out to pick up my friend Martha.
Slowly growing some lats.
Only shot where you can see The Abbeys.
We get to to the high school where the show was being held and walk into the “athlete’s meeting”. Which I get a kick out of because I’ve never considered myself an “athelete”. I’m just a girl who is obsessed with nutrition and likes to workout hard. Right away, I notice that it was a much younger crowd than my last competition. It’s not that I’m old but 31 and two kids definitely feels different than 20 and no kids when I am about to go onstage in a bikini.
After the meeting, I go backstage to find a space in the dressing room. Good thing this is a small show because the dressing room is the size of a closet. I start wishing I had a brown paper bag in case I hyperventilate. The men check in first and then the women move out to the lobby to check in. I notice this one beautiful girl who is walking around with her shirt held up with a hair clip to show her GODDESS abs. Seriously. I have NEVER seen abs like that on a woman. Miss Abs was also naturally tan, tall, with long exotic dark hair. I’m sitting there feeling like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man’s sister and praying that she isn’t in my class. The check-in lady calls for the novice figure women and Miss Abs stands up. I mutter something like “Oh %$#&” and immediately start wishing I had stayed out of the peanut butter jar and did a little more cardio. The peanut butter just didn’t’ seem worth it standing next to Miss Abs. As she is paying I look down and notice her fancy iphone has picture of herself as the screensaver. Normally, I’d roll my eyes at such sillyness but in the moment I’m thinking I’d do the same thing if my tummy looked that good. In fact, I’d probably put a billboard of myself in my front yard if I had abs like hers. Damn peanut butter.
So I go back to finish getting ready because of the heat my face looks like my 6 year old did my make up while I was sleeping. Let’s just say I’m a little white (or fair as I call it) and getting to my face to match my body and then stay that way is like trying to freeze a chocolate bar in a hot car.
This is a drug tested competition which means I have to pay $60 to pee in cup. The girl gives me the cup and looks at me as if I’m supposed to squat right there in the middle of the dressing room. Motioning to the one room bathroom I ask, “Can I go in there?”.
“Sure but I have to watch?”, she replies.
What??? She has to watch. Give me a break. I don’t even go to the bathroom in front on my husband and I’ve had very little water the past 12 hours. I sit there and try act like this is no big deal by making stupid jokes. After 5 or 6 minutes I’m running out small talk and realize God is not going to answer my prayer the way I want. I let her know I just can’t. “We’ll get it later,” she says. Yipppeeee can’t wait.
As I said this is a small show so it’s moving really fast and before I know it I’m waiting in the wings of the stage to go on. I’m doing my best to remind myself that I did this to LOSE but seeing the young tight girl next to me is making me feel like Old Mother Hubbard who went to the cupboard too many times. But the cupboard wasn’t bare. In fact, the cupboard had Costco size jars of peanut butter. They call my number and for a minute I think maybe I really am an “athlete” as I imagine sprinting through the auditorium in 5 inch heels. I survive going onstage although I’m smiling at the judges as if they are holding loaded guns instead of score cards. Now we have a 3 hour break until the night show.
The really nice thing about this show is the location. Not only is it relatively close to my house but it’s on the corner of Melrose and Fairfax which means Urban Outfitters (Yes I’m 31 and still shop at UO) and a bunch of other fun little stores are within walking distance. And since it’s Hollywood I don’t feel like freak with my orange runny “tan”, in fact, I feel like I fit in even more. Martha and I go to Crossroads Trading Company. It’s a buy-and-sell-used-clothing store and every time I go I find something cute and cheap. This time it was a pair of Joe’s Jeans in a size 26 (no stretch mind you) for $30. They were a tight 26 but after walking on the stage next to “I’m 20 with the prefect body” they were just what I needed to give the ego a lift.
After some shopping and pizza we walked back to the high school for the evening show where they hand out the awards. I’ve drank big glass of green tea so I manage to serve up the urine sample with a side sarcasm. I seriously considered leaving but decided against mainly because I’ve spent much of my life starting things and not following through. It’s a pattern I’ve been working really hard to break so I go back to feel like Old Mother Hubbard one more time.
Right before I walk on stage it occurs to me that this is so not me. I love to dress up just as much as any girl. I love to feel beautiful just as much as any girl. But figure competitions are just not my idea of beauty and glamour. Not that they aren’t glamourous and beautiful in their own right but unlike a lot of girls nothing about the look but the muscle appeals to me. I have always loved old school retro glamour. Fair skin, red lips, elegant dresses, and classic hair. That’s the style I’ve always gravitated towards (aside from my one year as a cheerleader in high school) when I want to feel beautiful. In that brief moment, I don’t think I have ever felt more like I was somebody else in my fake tan, tiny bikini, stripper heels, and over the top make-up. It was surreal and I started to ask myself some questions but before I could get into my deep nonsense about why I was doing this they called my number. While I was onstage I suddenly felt a strong sense of peace and okay with who I was despite having logs instead of legs. I looked for my friend so I could give her a smile and I smiled a real smile at the judges. They lined us up and started to give hand out placings. I was fully expecting to hear my number first which means I would have received 4th or last place. When they called Miss Ab’s (The pictures do NOT do her justice.) number I was really shocked. Then they called my number for 3rd. The girl in the green was 2nd. The girl in the pink was first. (She was totally adorable btw and very much deserved 1st.)
My friend and I decided we would leave early so I rush backstage eager to put on my new jeans. I hike them up over my thighs and button them pleased as pie to be wearing a size smaller than before. Then I squat down to pick something up off the floor and RIIIIIIIP. No joke. My new ego inflating jeans just deflated my ego like someone letting go of an unknotted balloon filled with air. I don’t know wether to laugh or cry. I decide to choose laughter because there is SO MUCH more to life than the size of the my jeans. Besides who needs those stupid old Joe’s Jeans when I have The Braxtons.
So how do I really feel about my placing? You know of course I would have enjoyed winning. Who doesn’t? I was also a little relieved not be be last but I also sort of feel like I should have been. I thought Miss Abs looked really great and could tell she had worked hard. Had I been a judge I think I would have placed me last. The thing is, it really doesn’t matter all that much to me. It never has been about winning for me. When I say I enjoy the preparation more than the show I mean it. When I say do this to lose I mean it. I didn’t reach 115 but 119 feels so much better than 126 to me. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I grow and learn from the preparation. I didn’t give this contest preparation a 100% and that’s not good. Not because of how I placed but because I ultimately believe in good work ethic, following through 100%, and doing what you say you will do. Had I won it would have re-enforced my half-azz tendencies. I’m going to hang my third place plaque in my garage right under my first place plaque NOT to remind me that 100% effort will get you a first but that a 100% effort is so much more satisfying than 90% regardless of the outcome.
So what’s next? Well I was delighted to step on the scale this morning and see 119 so I should probably work on getting over the scale. But I digress and I still want to reach my goal of 115. Honestly, I’m not sure why. It’s just the number I’ve had in my head as my “perfect” weight which is total crap because perfect is relative and happiness is certainly not found in the bathroom on my scale. Regardless, I want to follow through and reach my goal even if it didn’t happen on my competition day. My birthday is 2 months way so that gives me 8 full weeks to lose 4 pounds and buy a pair of size 26 jeans for my present!!! Totally doable and healthy. Although I’m tempted, I’m not going to do any more shows for a while because I think I should practice managing my food and exercise better for my family, myself, and for God. I want to face some of my struggles with food (binging) head on for no other reason than it’s the healthy thing to do. I’ve been wanting to learn how to use kettlebells so I’m going to start incorporating those as well. I’m going to finally buckle down and get my personal training certification instead of talking about it. I’m going to focus more effort on my taekwondo because at my last testing I got some good feedback from my instructor and one of the guest judges. I think it might be more in line with my natural strengths (flexibility and speed) not to mention I’m more comfortable in my uniform than a bikini!
Last but not least, I’ve been working on some changes for this site. I’m SO EXCITED and I hope that these new changes will encourage and inspire more women to “change the world by choosing health”. (Yes, I dream big!) So stayed tuned to be a part of the mission!!
Once again THANK YOU so much for the support (and making it to the end of this long post). I’m grateful for your readership and want you to know how much YOU inspire me.
XOXO
jenn
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This is my (almost) sane quest for insane health. Let's 
You are amazing. I’m so proud of you.
You fully deserved to be ahead of that girl, beyond her abs she had nothing going for her, including her “winning” personality.
I think you are amazing. I know what it’s like to reach that day and that is what makes the term ‘athlete’ fit.
Looking forward to the next leg in your journey and hopefully tagging along.
Thanks for letting me be a part of your day.
xoxo
Congrats and that’s for sharing your day. I laughed out loud when I read the part about your Joe’s ripping and had to tell my husband – he laughed too. Can’t wait to see what’s in store for C2L. xo
Good job. You look great ! Funny story about the jeans
I love how you have decide to “reevaluate” yourself and how you’re living now. I also respect and admire you for it.It takes courage. Looking forward to the updated site!! I have actually started taking Crossfit lessons,bet you’d love it!
I LOVED your post! You are an incredible person and I admire all your courage, hard work and spirit to keep moving towards a better place! Plus, you keep it real! You look amazing and have so much to be proud of!
Jen congrats on your achievement, and more importantly, congrats on this evolution and realization that you don’t need to validate yourself with the whole idea of “competition” but that you know where you “fell short” in your effort to excel. You learned more about yourself, but to me, your journey this go round, you really evaluated how you measured up, what you want to accomplish and how to move forward. you have done exceptionally well when you look at the breadth and scope of your achievements, you have done amazingly. I read your posts and marvel. I feel your struggles because I struggle too, but in the end, we have to give ourselves a pat on the back because we move forward and keep working.
Your pictures look fantastic- You’ve shown tremendous courage, guts and grit. This whole weight/fitness thing is hard. You’ve made it, and you’re better for it.
Looking forward to what’s next, and the site changes!
Loved today’s post. I love your courage. I’m not sure I could ever do a competition. You definitely give me the “want to” though. Keep writing your very motivational thoughts for us.
dang girl! smokin hot! good job on the comp
I love your enthusiasm and wish I lived closer to you. I need someone like you in my area to motivate me.
Congrats on reaching a second goal (2nd show). Great story to go with the show too. You are an inspiration to many of us, as we know you and love you, and you are not just some nameless person on an infomercial getting paid to look good. At least not yet!
your lats look awesome! Great job. I love reading about you life. I don’t think I know anyone more entertaining than you.
You look awesome, and congrats on the placing (regardless of your half-azzed-ness you dunn good 😉 LOL)
OMG! about the PB…I am SO addicted I feel for ya. Finished a jar last night and vowed not to replace it until I know I can control myself a bit better LOL (wish me luck)
Your blogs are great and this one had me chuckling, love your sense of humor…so true, Life is too short, might as well laugh at the insignificant “stuff”
Look forward to seeing your web update too!
Love you!!! Seriously hilarious. I’m so happy for you that you’ve found peace in the midst of all those butts!
finally i have time to see your pics.. You look great.. i love your calves…. mines are so skinny……. and hey i woudn´t be able to pee in front of anybody…..
Thanks Pau!
Okay, I officially love you! This is only the second thing on your site that I’ve read, but you GOT ME. This is soooooooooooo good! I’ve done one comp and relate to much of what you wrote! I love your sense of humor and willingness to share…ripped jeans and all! ;0) lol
I just shared your site with my girls on another site who are working hard to achieve that healthy balance in life. They are going to love you too!!!!!!
Thanks for a great thing you’re doing here with your site!
Hi Jenn,
During my Sunday morning web surfing I just happened to stumble upon your blog and this posting, and boy am I glad that I did. I am less than a week away from my first competition (fitness model division) and am overwhelmed by a whole gamut of emotions–excited, nervous, wondering if I worked hard enough, scared that I’m going to show up and feel like a fatty when I see the other competitors, etc. Your post was so honest and down-to-earth and funny and refreshing, and it was really great to read. It gave me a peek into what the whole experience will be like, and it also helped me put things into perspective. I have to let go of some of my hang ups and just enjoy the day and take it for what it is…a learning experience. I have to remember not to obsess/stress over too fat, too flat, not ripped enough, etc., etc., and just embrace who I am and what I’ve accomplished.
Anyway, I know your post is a few months old, but I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story and pictures. By the way, you didn’t look old, pale, or stay puft. lol. You looked fantastic!! A true girl hero!!
Thanks,
Monica
Maybe because I’m a mom but I’m partial and I think you should’ve won. I give you so much credit for getting up on stage. Your comments about the fake tan are toooo funny.
You inspire me to stay out of the cupboard! lol
xo Jen Tebbetts
hey,im doing my first figure comp in oct and im due to start my diet in just over a weeks time but i really dont have a clue where to start! iv searched the net but most of them say get a nutritionist but this is way to expensive for me.im wondering if you can help me please as im same height as you and so far 125lbs 13weeks out and i also have problems with looking like a russion nesting doll lol.i would be greatful if you could help me
thanks
brooke x
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