Between a (900 Pound) Rock and (a Half a Pound) Hard Place
Friday, I was attempting my 5 minute snatch test again. On rep 74 I felt my left shoulder weaken. One more. No it wasn’t just a bad rep, my shoulder was getting tired. One more. Yeah, it’s really tired. My form was deteriorating and wanting to stay safe I put the kettlebell down. Then I sat down and sobbed. I never claimed to not have issues. This was the second time in the a row that I had failed the snatch test after passing it once while camping. Thing 1 saw me crying. He came into the garage and putting his arm around me and said, “Are you disappointed?” (Then our ugly little pug joined us hoping for food to offer comfort.)
Yeah, I’m disappointed I told him…but later I decided (Never can think of teachable moments until after the fact.) I’m also grateful. Grateful that I could snatch it 76 times. Grateful that my son walked out to the garage. Grateful I have a garage. The list goes on and on. Disappointed but grateful. It’s all about perspective.
The first time I swung a kettlebell I knew I wanted to become certified by the most respected kettlebell organization in the world. For months, I kept it a secret but in my head I was training for the RKC. In January, I became HKC certified with the secret hope of replacing the H with an R. I’ve trained hard and been committed to this goal for almost a year and as it stands I feel like I have a 50/50 chance of being part of the 70% who pass.
I’m not worried about my endurance for the workouts. I’m not worried about passing the technique or the teaching tests as I feel like my teacher has prepared me. I’m semi worried about the grad workout but I know I’ll survive. It’s the snatch test. The details (again) of the test are as follows. If I weigh 123.5 lbs or less I can use the 12K (26lbs) and if I weight 124 pounds or more I have to use the 16K (35lbs). Normally, I try not to share my weight but today I’ll make an exception since this has nothing to do with smaller jeans. I’m REALLY close to the cut off. Super close. The catch is my weight fluctuates 1-3 pounds daily. This is normal due to hormones, sodium, water, glycogen, ect and under normal circumstances it doesn’t bother me at all. But in this case a HALF pound fluctuation means 9 pounds and those 9 pounds feel like 900. (I just realized that 9×100 is 900 so literally the difference is 900 pounds.) It’s the difference between discomfort and pain. And possibly pass or fail. I’m in between a rock and a hard place. I could continue to lean out a few pounds below the cut off but then I will likely lose strength. Knowing my weight fluctuation…what if…just what if…the day before the test I weigh less than the cut off but the day of for whatever reason the scale says 124. I’m going nuts thinking about it.
So I made a decision. I will try to pass using the 16K. Screw the scale. I’m tired of worrying. I’m tired of doubting myself. I’m tired of being slave to a number. I have never really fully understood people who get on the scale and it makes or breaks their day. I have more understanding now except when I get on the scale and it reads “heavy” I get filled with fear and doubt. Not anymore. I’m choosing to believe in myself and believe in the body God has given me.
This morning, I walked out to the garage determined to knock out 100 snatches with the 16K bell. I did…with 4 seconds to spare. Me stress much?
Needless to say, I’m going to be pretty focused the next 2.5 weeks but not so focused that I won’t take the time to kiss the dog…
Actually….errrrr….
….on second thought….
Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn
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This is my (almost) sane quest for insane health. Let's 
 Rock and (a Half a Pound) Hard Place on http://www.girl-heroes.com){kind=link}
I am sending strong snatching vibes your way! (hmmm…that sounds weird!) You are a strong powerful woman who can do this!!!
i’ve started to look into certification as well, so I am in awe. I did the snatch test with the 12kg bell with about 10 seconds to spare. Too bad I have a lot of weight to lose to get down to that cut off mark!
Ha ha!!! Awesome job!!!!! The snatch test with the 12kg is no walk in the park either.
I totally know you can do this. I have no doubt about your strength and determination. You got this!
I’ve found that gratitude and perspective can make all the difference. Yes, we lucky to even have garages! This kind of thinking has really helped get me through a tough time lately, and it’s made all the difference.
Snatch on!
Thanks Tiffany!!! I’m sorry you have been going through a tough time. (((hugs)))
You are so passionate about this and that is so inspiring!! I look forward to the days when I can get back into shape and work towards goals again. Stay strong lady, you are amazing and I love that you are feeling so grateful!!
It won’t be long Em! Right now you have a much more important goal nourishing that healthy baby!
I know how a few lbs ( on the KB) can feel like 100 more – you seem to have a great perspective on the situation and your heart is in the right place – humble, grateful and determined!!! Now just keep training all u can and trust the rest to God!!!
Jer 29:11
😉
Thanks you so much for the kind comment Janice. I just looked up that verse and forgotten how much I love it. Thanks you for reminding me.
Has it really been a year?!?! You are a testament to true dedication. Train for the 16kg, and then be happy/surprised/excited if you get to use the 12!
In the beginning of September it will be a year. Crazy! My thoughts exactly Katie. Great mind think alike except when it comes to science this one lags. 😉
I am so proud of and inspired by you- you absolutely can do this!!
Thanks Jenn!
You are so strong and so amazing! You kick that snatch-y thing in its face! I agree that 9 lbs can feel like 900 lbs but YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
Thanks Retta!
that’s right…screw the scale!!! you are so strong and an inspiration!!!
Thank you Mary Kate!
Jenn…you will do great either way. Your determination will carry you far. (Sounds like a fortune cookie) Stop the worrying!
“Sounds like a fortune cookie.” Ha ha!!!! I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have something to worry about. 😉
awesome job for finishing it a second time! I’m going to have you teach me how to swing a kettlebell when I”m out there if my belly doesn’t get in the way.
Can’t wait to see you!
You’ll do great with your snatch test! I’m sure once you’re there the adrenaline will push you through. And hopefully you’ll get to use the 12k weight too!
Thanks Rebecca. You’re right I must not underestimate the power of adrenaline.
yay for u!! u’ve motivated me to try to the “snatch test”. so far my best time with the 12k is 5:05. grrr. needless to say im super impressed with u girlie!!! xoxo
That’s awesome Roni!!!!! It won’t be wrong until you are rocking the 16k girl!
Oh I love this post!!! I’m so proud of you! With that kind of grit and determination I have no doubt you will pass the test. And keeping your sanity to boot? Priceless:)
Thanks Charlotte. (((hugs)))
You will rock the test!! I can’t wait to hear about.
PS-that dog is absolutely adorable.
You can have her. 😉
Firstly your little pug is beautiful. Secondly I have complete faith that you will pass the test. I know it.
I’ve been reading your e-mails but have only just realised how to comment (duh!)
Anyway you rock it and I’m inspired & in awe of you – keep at it hun. xXx
Thank you for your kind words Kerance! Nico thanks you too. 😉 xoxo
Oh wow, such a dilemma to be in. Yes, I can totally see your gratitude for having a little healthy boy and a garage, but I do understand these goals that you set for yourself are important. One thing that I do know is that you need to listen to your body. It usually wins the war. Having said that, you have a very strong mind- and if anyone can pull this rabbit out of a hat, it is YOU!
Hugs and strength being sent your way.
Awww thanks Debs!
You go Jenn! And thanks for sharing pics of your doggie–you know I love him!
Thanks Debby!