New Horizons
Two nights ago, I cried myself to sleep.
It’s been a long time since I’ve woke up with a pounding headache and swollen eyes.
Eleven years ago, my parents helped us buy a mobile home in a nice mobile home park. Previously, we had been living in a super small one bedroom apartment with a toddler and the apartment was shrinking by the day. Taking into account the high housing prices in Southern California, our young newly married couple income, and my desire to be a stay at home mom, a mobile home was the best option for us. Still, we couldn’t even afford that at the time so my parents helped us out. I remember the day we moved in. I felt like a princess in a palace. (I’d be a low maintenance princess for sure.)
A year later, with more help from both of our parents we were able to buy a an overpriced DUMP (Thank you California.) fixer upper house.
Our freshly painted house and Thing 1.
My parent’s kept the mobile home to have a place to “crash” when they would visit. It worked out beautifully and many many memories were created at the “Crash Pad”. ]
This month, we are moving back to the “Crash Pad”, 10 years later. The reasons for our move are a mixed batter of excitement and sadness. We are moving to save up for an exciting adventure that lies ahead this year. We are also moving because this economic mess has left some wounds that haven’t yet healed.
My dad and “The Bus”. Yeah, my dad’s rad!
Two nights ago, my crazy parents stuffed to the point of being ridiculous packed up their old VW Bus and attached it to the back of a should be illegal very full pick up and drove off. They looked like gypsies. They were off to start a new adventure and one that, unfortunately, includes my mom’s radiation treatments for cancer.
Every time I walk into the empty Crash Pad, my stomach turns, throat tightens, and I have trouble breathing. I hate the empty rooms. I miss seeing my parent’s stuff. (I can’t even imagine what it’s like to really lose someone. My parent’s are just across the country and, yet, I feel like I’ve lost so much.) My memory floods and I see Thing 1 running around as a toddler. Unfortunately, I also see our glittery red shag curtains and turquoise polka dotted pillows. I remember sitting in the living room in devastation the morning of September 11th. Everything, down to the overgrown bougenvilla, reminds me of the passing of time and that things change.
Change is not always easy but sometimes necessary.
Over three years ago, I was depressed, overweight, out of shape, and addicted to sugar.
Was overcoming my sugar addiction easy? No, but it was necessary.
Was getting fit easy? No, but it was necessary.
Was was losing weight easy? No, but it was necessary.
Was facing my depression easy? No, but it was necessary.
All these things were necessary if I wanted to breath deep and suck life down into every crevice of my lungs.
I did.
I still do.
Who knows what lies beyond the first steps of trepidation towards change? I’m betting on new horizons that are bursting with more color and life than the ones before.
Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn
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This is my (almost) sane quest for insane health. Let's 
Sorry about your sadness. Yes, change is hard. My mom went through radiation and is doing well, I hope the same for yours. Yeh, your dad looks like a funny dude.
Thank you Laurie. I’m sorry your mom had to go through radiation but it sounds like things have worked out well. Thanks for sharing and for the encouragement.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. It’s such a tough experience and changes you in so many ways. My dad was diagnosed two years ago with Pancreatic Cancer. He’s terminal. It’s changed me in so many ways.
I will send nothing but positive vibes out there for you and your family and wish you nothing but the best!
Stephanie, I’m so sorry about your dad. That’s very intense. I can’t imagine the feelings and changes that must be taking place in your life. Will say a prayer for him and you now. (((Hugs)))
I am so, so sorry. You are so amazing and strong and I bet your mom is too.
Thanks, Retta. xoxo
Change is hard–but sometimes for the best. You can get through this.
Thanks, Lisa. xoxo
{{Hugs}} to you my friend. xoxo
(((HUGS))) xoxo
it’s amazing to me how overcoming our health issues (eating, exercise, overweight, etc) gives us confidence to battle the other hard things in our lives. my prayers are with you and your family.
http://www.yogaandpencilskirts.blogspot.com
What a wise observation!!! Thank you for the prayers.
Hugs, Jenn. Sending lots of good wishes to your family, especially your mom.
Thanks so much for this reminder… I have some necessary things to attend to and I need to stop putting them off. Lose weight and get super fit, here I come!!
Thank you Tamara. xoxo
Jenn, you are normal! I have big hugs for you anytime! Life is just a big bowl of fruit. When it is lemons, you make lemonade!
Bigs hugs for you too!!!
(huge hugs) my friend! Change under the best of circumstances is difficult – change when you don’t want it can be really traumatic. Just think though, it won’t be long and you’ll be off on your grand adventure!
Thanks, Charlotte. You are so right! I feel lucky to have a handful of awesome blogs friends to share my feelings with. xoxo
It won’t be long friend. You have great courage and I so admire your spirit.
Life is hard. Swollen eyes are part of it. Growth is painful, but inevitably evokes beauty.
Jen, you are amazing. Why oh why, can’t you move to CA. xoxo
Sending more hugs!!!!! And good wishes for your mom!
My sister-in-law & her husband are moving in with her folks. We’ll probably be joining them soon (luckily it’s a big house, lol!), and the economy has many of us re-prioritizing our lives.
You are surrounded by love and support, and you are not alone!!!!!!
Thank you, Alyssa. So true about the economy. Good luck with you move. (((HUGS)))
Sending you a gigantic hug!!
Thank you, Katie and sending one right back. (((HUG)))
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. I want to say that this is very beautifully written. You have a lovely writing style.
Thank you for the kinds words, Angela.
Very well written…I cried as I read your words. It was hard leaving but what a fun journey it has been and what an adventure coming up for all of you. You have made wonderful changes in your life and will continue to do so. Dad and I will miss the Crash Pad but for now it is new territory to explore and I thank God for such a loving family to share all this with. (even though at times they think we are crazy ). Embrace the change !!!! xoxo Mom
Love you, Mom.
Somehow, despite the sadness and uncertainty that you are experiencing, I think that you guys will make it nothing short of an awesome life-changing experience. You have such a strong family with so much love. I can’t imagine anything else.
PS yes your dad is cool looking. And I’m sending healing vibes for your mom’s radiation. I’m relieved to hear that the doctors do not think it’s serious enough to require chemo.
Thanks, Debs. Yes, we are relieved that she does not need chemo. I love how you always look on the bright side! XOXO
So sorry Jenn about the uncertainties you are facing. Hang on to that positive outlook and look for strength in all the positive changes that you have been able to create in your life to date with success.
Sending you a big hug. Yes, change is so hard, especially while you are going through it. But as you said, when we look back at it, we often realize why we had to go through what we went through…
I know you’ll make great new memories in your old place…
And your family and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.
Jen, your perspective is truly beautiful. Saying prayers for your fam, and esp. your mom. Drop the boys by sometime and have some quiet time. Seriously. xxoo
Thank you Noelle. You are a good friend. I’ll probably take you up on your offer. xoxo
In 1997 I was diagnosed with stageIII lung cancer. I had chemo and radiation to shrink the tumor to a more manageable size then had a lobectomy and more chemo. In 2005 I had a baby girl. I attribute my almost 14 year remission mainly to attitude and cleaning up my diet. I hope your Mom fairs as well as I did.
Wow. Thank you for sharing your amazing story. It gives me hope and inspiration regarding the human character. Seriously, thank you and I’m so happy to hear you’ve been in remission for 14 years.
I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and
was curious what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a
pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% positive.
Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks