Thoughts on Body Image and Social Media
A few weeks ago, while scrolling through Facebook status updates I noticed a self-portrait, or a “body shot”, of girl who was a friend of a friend (she had tagged my friend) taken from the hips to the shoulders revealing a very smooth flat tummy. I’ll be honest the flat tummy caught my eye long enough for me to read the caption that said something about wanting to lose weight and fight fat.
My first thought was “what fat?”. (I should also say that she didn’t look to be at an unhealthy low weight either.) Then I remembered that I have been there and can understand wanting to lose a few vanity pounds that only you notice. Nothing wrong with that.
Then, I thought a little more about the body shot and wondered how it might make other people on FB feel.
Were people motivated? Good for them.
Were people annoyed? Get over it.
But what if they were hurt? Did she have truly overweight friends who felt bad about themselves after looking at her photos what our culture might call a “perfect tummy” and declaring to her FB world that it’s time to get rid of the “fat”. Should we even care about other’s people’s feelings or should we take a “hide me then” attitude?
Would her flat tummy picture had been different if there would have been a “before” picture along side it? It wasn’t a “look at my progress!” picture. I was an essentially “before” pictures as she was claiming it was time to get rid of the very very little fat she still had clinging to her waist.
My thoughts were complex and confused.
Why did she post it?
Did she want attention?
Did she really think she was fat?
Was she another woman comparing herself to the unrealistic pictures in the media? Did her perfect tummy not look so perfect because it was taken in bathroom lighting instead of studio lighting?
Body image is so complicated.
Couple it with social media and it’s a recipe for angst rivaling that of politics.
I’ll admit it, I treat my Facebook profile differently than I treat my blog or other social media platforms.
For one, like most people I have a wide range of friends I personally know on Facebook that I don’t have on other social media platforms. I have church friends, friends from my acting class days, high school friends, taekwondo friends, college friends, ect. While I never “add” kids, sometimes a friend’s child will ask to be my friend and I accept. Because of the wide variety of “friends”, I feel a certain sense of responsibility to only post “family friendly” updates. I also make an effort to keep things positive. (If there is one thing I despise on FB, it’s passive agressive updates. Updates that you know are talking unfavorably about someone but you aren’t sure who. I’m surprised by how many adults I see doing this. GROW. UP.) While I can’t control how other people feel, I do try to be conscious of how my posts and pictures may affect my friend’s positively or negatively.
On the other hand, I assume people coming to my health blog are looking to read about food, fitness, and body image. If not they can easily click away. In the past, I have posted “progress pictures” or “body shots” on my blog without giving it much thought. On my personal Facebook page, I haven’t posted a “body shot”, a picture that was taken with the sole purpose of sharing my body composition with anyone who hasn’t hidden me. Seeing that over half of our population is obese, it’s likely that while my current body composition won’t land me on the cover of Oxygen magazine my current composition might be someone else’s, a friend’s, goal composition. Or it might very well be a body composition that a friend on FB can only emotionally “dream of” at the moment. If I show dissatisfaction with my body at a healthy body weight on FB what am I saying about my friends who are at an unhealthy body weight? And what is “healthy” and “unhealthy” anyway?
It’s all so complicated.
This post feels like a muddled mess. Welcome to my brain.
How do you feel about “body shots” on Facebook? On blogs? Is there a difference? How much sensitivity should we show others on social media? Should it change from outlet to outlet? Don’t you love the “hide” feature!
Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn
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This is a really good post, Jenn. I think about that type of thing from time to time. I don’t like to over-broadcast my fitness goals to very many people, for some of the reasons you mentioned. I’m not where I want to be, but I don’t want to make anyone feel badly who might, as you said, think it would be really great to be where I’m at. It’s all very complicated, like you said. I do think people don’t think, sometimes, about what they post on FB (I see your passive-aggressive statuses and raise you a bunch of those vague “I’m not going to say exactly what’s wrong so a bunch of people will ask me” posts – they all bother me but in the interest of being more positive and accepting, I’m trying to let them roll off without so much as a “grrr”!).
I do agree that your blog is totally different, in that the focus is clearly on fitness, body image, etc.
Thanks, as always, for making me think and for being so darn awesome! <3
Thanks Tamara.
That’s great you can let things roll off. I’ve gotten way better at doing that. I used to think I was the chief officer of the FB etiquette police squadron. I thought it was better to call people out on their “bad” behavior but realized it wasn’t my job to change people. Novel concept huh. 😉 Nowadays I just shrug and if it really gets to me hit “unsubscribe”.
The operative word is “try” – sometimes my husband gets an earful. 😉 Shrugging and unsubscribing are good approaches!
I find it motivating to see people’s before and after pictures, or to hear about their progress. It makes me take a look at my own lifestyle and see what I can do differently. It also inspires me that “hey, if they can do it, so can I”. That is what I thought the very first time I read this blog and why I continue to read your blog. I do find your journey inspiring. I being someone who was always fit when I was younger but have struggled with weight as an adult. I need all the inspiration I can get. I however, when I reach my goal, I will find a way, without offending, to show off my new body, maybe a beach picture in that 2 piece that I long to wear!
I do have to agree, I can’t stand reading the negative posts on fb. Most of those people I have either deleted or have hidden their posts. My theory is if you are going to complain about someone or something, tell the whole story so all of us know what is going on. If you don’t want to explain the back story, you probably shouldn’t be posting about it to begin with.
As always, keep up the good work and I always enjoy reading about your fitness and family adventures.
I agree Lisa! It was the “if they can do it so can I” that got me started. It makes me so happy (and humbled) that you read my blog and find it inspiring!
I hope I didn’t come across as harsh. I do love before and after pictures. I think what bothered me was that this girl was already really lean and then called insinuated that she was fat. It made me sad.
XOXOXO
Not sure how I’ve missed the last few posts – but I’m glad I read this- it’s definitely how I think (brain mash twin here!). I complained about my body to my niece once and I’ll never forget her telling me “Aunt Missy, there are people I know who would kill to look like you – you are their dreambody”. It really made me think, like you, that for these people who post pics of their not so perfect, need to lose maybe 5 lb bodies, that there are so many with 50 plus pounds they need to lose that read and have 1 of 2 reactions. 1- I’ll never look like that and besides, she’s unhappy so what makes me think I’ll be? Or 2 – wow if she can look like that, so can I!!
I’m guilty of both reactions. I have been motivated by some and sent into despair (aka ice cream party) by others.
I don’t have a FB anymore but I’d not like seeing stuff like that at all. It screams “I want attention” and fishing for compliments. But I expect body shots on blogs – the ones I visit for sure. I do think there is a difference since to me, FB is just keeping up with friends/family whereasa fitness/weight loss blog can legitimately have body shots. Just my 2 cents!
Thanks for great post (NOT a muddled mess!)
I saw a post just like that- a magazine cover-worthy tummy with the owner moaning about her figure. Totally begging for compliments (and got them by the dozens) I let it roll off my shoulders because (why wouldn’t I anyway), she has a very Eating disordered past and so I know that she’s using facebook as a form of therapy. and I don’t check facebook unless someone @’s me anyway. But it was an obvious cry for help and quite pathetic.
Your blog IS different- people do come here for inspiration and before/after sorts of results. facebook is a different ballgame.
I didn’t know about ‘Hide’ and like you, I am very aware of what i post- what if one of the disabled kids I volunteer with came to my site? Or their parents? I wouldn’t want to be embarrassed in the least. Great great post.
Thanks Debs! I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees a difference between blogging and fb.
;I’m on my phone right now. Looking forward to catching up via email)