Battling the Monster
I’m walking on a lonely road. Or so it feels that way. It can be difficult to maintain that elusive, and not so little thing, called motivation. Last week, I had enough motivation for an army. Today, I considered getting out of bed an accomplishment. I blame it on Present Monster Syndrome (PMS).
I’m not sure who I am today. Last week, I was motivated, strong, determined, and positive. This week, I’m on edge, grumpy, and feel like I could toss a truck in the Baskin Robbins window with all this unexplained rage. Garbage Girl wants to play and I’m trying to keep cool. It’s hard when I feel like I’m a bottle of Coke whose been tossed in the dryer. Not only that but I could drown myself (and anyone who crosses my path) in peanut butter. I keep opening my pantry door and staring for MINUTES at the jars of tomatoe sauce, artichokes, tuna, green chillies and hoping that a bag of Cheetos will magically appear. I’ve never loved veggies but today I mock them. Eat broccoli? (Cackles wildly).
Why? Why? Why? (Hits desk.) Why does this need to be so hard? People loooove to say “everything in moderation”. If not you’ll go crazy and eat everything in sight they say. Whatever. I could eat everything in moderation (which is relative anyway) and never have lost a pound and then Present Monster Syndrome would hit and I’d still eat everything in sight on top of all the junk I ate the previous 3 weeks in moderation. Hooey. That’s what I did for years. This is hormones. And I’m not sure what to do about them. I asked my husband if he would just lock me up in a cage and slip me bowls of clean food for a week. I think we’d both be better off.
Emotionally, some months are worse and this one falls into the “worse” category.
So what do I do? I keep exercising even though I don’t want to because it does help. I keep doing my best to eat clean because I feel better. I eat a lot of pickles and soy sauce instead of Doritos. Five pounds of water weight is easier to lose than five pounds of Dorito weight. I try to remember that I’ll feel better in a week. I readjust my goals. My goal this week is not to lose a pound but to stay the same. So what if I’m two pounds heavier come competition day as long as I’ve lost I’ve still won. Lastly, I seek or give forgiveness and pray that this monster will go back into the closest soon. Someday I’m going to find the key and lock that damn closet door for good.
Hugs and High Fives,
jenn
This is my (almost) sane quest for insane health. Let's 
Well,I think once you realize it’s PMS (and not you losing your mind) it helps. Don’t allow a full out binge,but allow or “make room” for a treat. Not dried fruit,but something you really want..weather it be chocolate or whatever. I know it helps me from a major binge:)
BTW: After maintaining a 50lb weight loss for 7yrs,I too can say;some days it just ain’t easy! Hang in!
Most of us women (myself included) are fighting their “present monster” once a month. “My poor family,” is all I think when she comes out. Use the rage to kick butt on your Tae Kwon Do test.
Hang in there. One day at a time is what I try to tell myself during my “doom week” each month. Thinking of you ….
I know you may not have time but sometimes a long hot bath or shower calms PMS. Hang in there.
Oh my goodness…I could have totally written this. I have been doing good and then all the sudden I am craving everything and angry and lazy and tired and everything all at once. I am going to stay strong though because of you. I know that we can do this, even though we are not doing the same thing.
Thank for all the encouraging comments. I already feel less alone (and a little less crazy!) He he!!! You are all amazing women and inspire me with your stories and your willingness to encourage a stumbling whiny girl like myself. Lindsey, you’re right. We can do this. We call can.
XOXO
j
If there is one thing you and I have in common, it is this. I eat CONSTANTALY right before that time of the month. I get massive cravings for things (donuts anyone?). So, I have learned a small trick that helps only slightly, but slightly is better than nothing. Figure out what you are craving. Is it the doritos? Is it the salt in them or the crunch and find a clean option to supplement what you are looking for. Looks like you did that with the soy sauce and pickles whether you meant to or not. If you crave something sweet, find an alternative. Keep in there. You are great and you can do it.
NurseBecky – “massive” is the perfect word to describe the cravings. What a great point you make about finding a clean option for your cravings. I like how you are very intentional about identifying what it is you are craving. Hmmm…I think I have an idea for another post!! 😉 Right now I’m craving white flour tortillas. I think my best option given it’s after 10 pm is to just go to bed! Ha! Thanks for stopping by!
xoxo
j